They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
