it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
