i don't like sucking hair
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
