Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
