fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize