Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
