big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
