hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
