i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
