Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
