Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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