mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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