Kareoke will never be a sober sport
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
