My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
