dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Boobs speak an international language.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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