If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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