i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
