when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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