But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
