I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can you bring me the toilet please
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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