Having a random hookup so left but love u
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
