How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
