their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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