I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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