seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Floor bacon is actually really good
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
