Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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