Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
