then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
