I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You smell like stripper and shame
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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