awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
