You work out of a Hotel?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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