I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
