If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
