Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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