Non-Jews are for practice
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
