there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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