i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
