Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
