My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
