I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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