that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
