He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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