I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
