I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
this will be a night to untag.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize