Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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