using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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