I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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