Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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