I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
