Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
is wine microwaveable?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm at about main and main street
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
