I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
