I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
