k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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