she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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